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they say it’s strange that I’m still leaning,
that I need to change, stand on two feet and leave,
but my momma says I’m alright.
“so I guess I’m fine,” I say as it echoes through my mind,
all the shit I’ve done wrong.
like that one time I told Jess I couldn’t hang,
cause I wanted to see that boy again.
and I probably shouldn’t be so selfish at night,
but momma says I’ve gotta do things for myself sometimes.
I work two jobs, and thank god I don’t pay rent,
cause all my money goes to student loans and the goddamn government,
cause they said we’d be alright.
so we just get drunk and make believe our lives don’t suck,
and laugh it all away.
am I wasting time? thought I’d be in Nashville by now.
it’s a surprise, but I’ve got good things going on this side of town,
so I’ll stick around.
and momma says things will work out sometime.
cause my innocence is gone,
adulthood sets in,
my ambition is lost,
and that feeds the fear within.
momma told me I was special,
it turns out I’m just alright,
I’ve been living with that pressure for my whole life.
they told us we were special,
gave us participation awards,
building up the pressure,
but what are we working towards?
cause our innocence is gone,
adulthood has set in.
we’re all so fucking lost,
and I don’t know where to begin.
and they say it’s strange,
that I’m still leaning,
but I’m still leaning.
released July 12, 2019
producers: Perry Longo, Alyssa Joseph
engineer: Ryan O'Grady
songwriting: Alyssa Joseph
vocals: Alyssa Joseph
guitar: Alyssa Joseph, Ryan O'Grady
drums: Henry Merker
mixed by Ryan O'Grady
mastered by Rish Singh
cover graphic design by Barbara Rocas
modeling by me and my momma circa 1997